I was born in Poland in the city of Poznań in 1978. I was an adopted child because my biologic mother gave me birth and because she couldn’t have an abortion, not even in secrecy because of the state policy at that time, so she gave me away for adoption. Fortunately she was a medical student and my biological father (who I don’t know details at all) was also a student so finding parents for me was not so hard. But to be honest I never think about these details of my past because I was 3 months of age when I was adopted so I never felt like I didn’t belong to my family which adopted me. Fortunately, I had a loving and caring family, so I had from this point of view a normal family life.
My father worked as a truck driver and my mother with him at the same company for a long time, a very big meat company in the area. My childhood was still deep rooted in the communist way of upbringing. We lived in an apartment provided by the government belonging in a way to the company at which my mom and dad worked by the way, it was a very good deal, getting a free home to stay, which after a few years when communism fell became property of my parents. They earned it too, working 30 years for that company. Almost all the neighbors worked either at the same company or at similar factories in the area so all the people in the area I grew, had a socialist worker mentality. I can’t say it was the best life a kid can have compared to the western world at that time because of the nature of communism and the lack of education for many factory workers which often spawned violence either in the family or with people around.So you can imagine that this lack of education and violence lead to some nasty aspects when living surrounded by people like this.
My father was no exception by any standards. He grew up in a disturbed family setting, his father was a drunk, his mother passed away when he was a kid so I understood his condition. He drank, not a lot, but enough for it to be a problem in our family, especially with my mother. Fortunately for me my mother had a far better upbringing in a very fervent crescent family so she was always a moral wall where I often leaned upon when I had doubts about decisions. She was and is always supportive, personally I haven’t seen many women like her. She inspired me very much because she gave me a lot of attention and brought me up in a strong catholic value system. She had also done over the years a lot of sacrifices in order for me to have a good life and that was a particularly nice thing about her, her commitment to that family and to family values.
My dad also loved me very much. Unfortunately when I was just 13 my father had a stroke, and so I didn’t really have a chance to have the full kid – dad experience but I know I was as I quote him: “the light of his eyes”.
I studied in an average school and had average mates. We would always get into trouble and missed some of our classes while playing football or doing other stuff so school was never my thing. I was very happy when I finished with it. Because of our financial problems during school my mother had to leave to work in another country so I stayed at home with my father. Not long after I finished school he passed away so I had to find a job to sustain myself.
Around that time I had met my present wife, and after a relatively short time we decided to get married. When you are young like that and in love we often make decisions not thinking of the future but I don’t know if that is a bad thing. We decided together to get an apartment so we contracted a credit at the bank. After a while the factory that I worked at was bankrupt so I couldn’t pay my mortgage anymore so you can imagine my situation back then. So I decided to go in another country, just like my mom did, in order to work so I can pay for that credit. So this is how I ended up with my family in the Netherlands.